In today’s society so much emphasis is put on dating, relationships, marriage, etc, among both Christians, and non-Christians. For a high percentage of the population, it has become the norm to engage in relationships prematurely from a very young age, which then begins a cycle of getting in and out of relationships (break up here, hook up there, another break up, then another hook up) until the individual eventually gets married. In some situations, it can almost be like a badge of honor to say how many relationships you have been in. Something is incredibly wrong with this system of dating.
For starters, the most important relationship in our life is with Jesus Christ, and we should be seeking His will (Ok now I know some people maybe thinking O here we go with a seek God lecture, but please hear me out). Romans 12:1-2 reads as follows “I Beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service…And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.”
Before we jump in a relationship, we should make sure that we are being a living sacrifice to God, and living holy. I think one of the problems is that the World’s system has crept into the church (as far as dating, and several other areas). As Christians it’s important that we renew our minds, and do not conform to the world’s way of doing things. The last part of verse 2 really hits the point home “…that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.” It’s basically letting us know, that if you want to prove the Will of God in your life, this is how you do it. This could possibly mean spending a significant amount of time outside of a relationship with another person.
Ok…so you may be saying to yourself, but I really have been seeking God. Really, Reeeeeally seeking God…lol. For those in that category, I feel you, believe me I do. One thing that’s important to realize is that God know’s what’s best for us, and he has a process for us to go through. Use this time to really get to know God in a more intimate way. This can be done by increasing the amount of time you spend studying and reading your Bible, and increasing the amount of time you spend in prayer and worship. Realize that even if it is God’s will for you to be married, the person you marry cannot, and will not fill the role of Jesus in your life (The greatest husband/wife in the world, will still pale in comparison to Jesus). I think one problem with relationships is that people are expecting their spouses to love them in ways that only God can. The reality is that people have flaws, we make mistakes, we don’t always do things the right way. But God always does things the right way! Now please don’t get me wrong, marriage is a beautiful thing when done the right way. And there are things that both the husband and wife are held accountable for as outlined in scripture. But the point I’m making is to make sure we don’t expect our spouses to fill the God role in our life.
Alright, now lets go a step further, you’ve been seeking God, and you believe he has shown you/ been preparing you for you future mate…This could very well be the case if you have been seeking God, and marriage is part of His will for your life. Psalms 37:4 says “ Delight thyself also in the Lord; and He shall give thee the desires of thine heart.” If you have truly been seeking God, I believe that you will desire to do His will for your life, so in essence you desire to do what he desires you to do. Psalms 37:5 says “Commit thy way unto the Lord; trust in Him and He shall bring it to pass.” I think the territory between verses 4 and 5 can be where many of us are challenged, and here’s what I mean. For instance, say God has been dealing with you about marriage, so then you get excited, and basically through your actions say “Ok God Thanks…Now I can handle it from here” because you begin to try to make things happen by yourself. Once we know God’s will for our life, it’s also important that we follow God’s will. If we do what verse 5 says (“…Commit thy way unto the Lord….”), then we can be receptive to God’s instructions about timing.
Another important thing about moving towards marriage is to think about the big picture, and plan for life beyond the wedding. So many times the emphasis can be put on the wedding day (which I do understand is important), but what about after the wedding. It’s so important that the couple is clear about what they expect from each other, and how the household will be ran. Now there are obvious moral guidelines in the Bible that Christians are aware of... In addition to this you may also want to address things (prior to getting married) like: how you will handle/split up the household duties (cooking, dishes, cleaning, etc), will you have separate or joint bank accounts (or a combination of both), will you have a weekly date night, and other appropriate expectations.
When dealing with a topic like dating and relationships there are so many different angles that can be discussed, but for now I will bring this blog entry to an end. In the meantime, remember Psalms 119:105 “Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.”
God Bless.
Ja’ Van
For starters, the most important relationship in our life is with Jesus Christ, and we should be seeking His will (Ok now I know some people maybe thinking O here we go with a seek God lecture, but please hear me out). Romans 12:1-2 reads as follows “I Beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service…And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.”
Before we jump in a relationship, we should make sure that we are being a living sacrifice to God, and living holy. I think one of the problems is that the World’s system has crept into the church (as far as dating, and several other areas). As Christians it’s important that we renew our minds, and do not conform to the world’s way of doing things. The last part of verse 2 really hits the point home “…that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.” It’s basically letting us know, that if you want to prove the Will of God in your life, this is how you do it. This could possibly mean spending a significant amount of time outside of a relationship with another person.
Ok…so you may be saying to yourself, but I really have been seeking God. Really, Reeeeeally seeking God…lol. For those in that category, I feel you, believe me I do. One thing that’s important to realize is that God know’s what’s best for us, and he has a process for us to go through. Use this time to really get to know God in a more intimate way. This can be done by increasing the amount of time you spend studying and reading your Bible, and increasing the amount of time you spend in prayer and worship. Realize that even if it is God’s will for you to be married, the person you marry cannot, and will not fill the role of Jesus in your life (The greatest husband/wife in the world, will still pale in comparison to Jesus). I think one problem with relationships is that people are expecting their spouses to love them in ways that only God can. The reality is that people have flaws, we make mistakes, we don’t always do things the right way. But God always does things the right way! Now please don’t get me wrong, marriage is a beautiful thing when done the right way. And there are things that both the husband and wife are held accountable for as outlined in scripture. But the point I’m making is to make sure we don’t expect our spouses to fill the God role in our life.
Alright, now lets go a step further, you’ve been seeking God, and you believe he has shown you/ been preparing you for you future mate…This could very well be the case if you have been seeking God, and marriage is part of His will for your life. Psalms 37:4 says “ Delight thyself also in the Lord; and He shall give thee the desires of thine heart.” If you have truly been seeking God, I believe that you will desire to do His will for your life, so in essence you desire to do what he desires you to do. Psalms 37:5 says “Commit thy way unto the Lord; trust in Him and He shall bring it to pass.” I think the territory between verses 4 and 5 can be where many of us are challenged, and here’s what I mean. For instance, say God has been dealing with you about marriage, so then you get excited, and basically through your actions say “Ok God Thanks…Now I can handle it from here” because you begin to try to make things happen by yourself. Once we know God’s will for our life, it’s also important that we follow God’s will. If we do what verse 5 says (“…Commit thy way unto the Lord….”), then we can be receptive to God’s instructions about timing.
Another important thing about moving towards marriage is to think about the big picture, and plan for life beyond the wedding. So many times the emphasis can be put on the wedding day (which I do understand is important), but what about after the wedding. It’s so important that the couple is clear about what they expect from each other, and how the household will be ran. Now there are obvious moral guidelines in the Bible that Christians are aware of... In addition to this you may also want to address things (prior to getting married) like: how you will handle/split up the household duties (cooking, dishes, cleaning, etc), will you have separate or joint bank accounts (or a combination of both), will you have a weekly date night, and other appropriate expectations.
When dealing with a topic like dating and relationships there are so many different angles that can be discussed, but for now I will bring this blog entry to an end. In the meantime, remember Psalms 119:105 “Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.”
God Bless.
Ja’ Van