Do you have someone in your life that is difficult to get along with? Maybe they have done something that you really didn’t appreciate. Throughout the course of our lives, we may not always see eye to eye with people. The way we respond in times like these can play a role in how much better/worse the overall situation gets. Today’s blog entry deals with handling conflict.
“Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee thou hast gained thy brother.” – Matthew 18:15
The scripture above gives a lot of insight on the way we should handle conflict. Many times when people have an issue with someone, they may go and complain to other people about the situation before they have even brought it to the attention of the person they have a problem with.
For example, say you have two co-workers (I’ll refer to them as person 1 and person 2). Person 1 is upset and annoyed by person 2 because person 2 always cuts off person 1 in the middle of conversations. As a result of this, person 1 tells some other people: “Person 2 is so rude and annoying, always cutting people off”. From there these other people go and tell even more people, and then the word gets back to Person 2. Now both people are really mad, and other people are adding fuel to the fire.
If person 1 would have come to person 2 and brought up the issue in a kind and sensible manner, there is a chance that person 2 would have apologized (maybe they didn’t realize they were doing it, or maybe it is something that they have recognized as a weakness and have been trying improve upon). Now as your reading this you may be thinking, yeah, but what if they don’t apologize, what if they know what they are doing is bothering me.
In situations like these (and life in general), things can happen that we have no control over. However one thing that we can control is the way that we react, and respond to people. In some situations, the desire may be to avoid the person altogether, however in some environments (such as a work place) this may not always be possible. When dealing with conflict, it’s important that we are willing to honestly look at the role we may have played in contributing to some of the problem.
It’s important that we take responsibility for the things that we do, and avoid blaming others for the way we act. If you have a “hot button” that people can press to set you off, then focus on getting rid of that “hot button” instead of focusing on ways to keep people from pressing it.
“Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath.” - James 1:19
“Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee thou hast gained thy brother.” – Matthew 18:15
The scripture above gives a lot of insight on the way we should handle conflict. Many times when people have an issue with someone, they may go and complain to other people about the situation before they have even brought it to the attention of the person they have a problem with.
For example, say you have two co-workers (I’ll refer to them as person 1 and person 2). Person 1 is upset and annoyed by person 2 because person 2 always cuts off person 1 in the middle of conversations. As a result of this, person 1 tells some other people: “Person 2 is so rude and annoying, always cutting people off”. From there these other people go and tell even more people, and then the word gets back to Person 2. Now both people are really mad, and other people are adding fuel to the fire.
If person 1 would have come to person 2 and brought up the issue in a kind and sensible manner, there is a chance that person 2 would have apologized (maybe they didn’t realize they were doing it, or maybe it is something that they have recognized as a weakness and have been trying improve upon). Now as your reading this you may be thinking, yeah, but what if they don’t apologize, what if they know what they are doing is bothering me.
In situations like these (and life in general), things can happen that we have no control over. However one thing that we can control is the way that we react, and respond to people. In some situations, the desire may be to avoid the person altogether, however in some environments (such as a work place) this may not always be possible. When dealing with conflict, it’s important that we are willing to honestly look at the role we may have played in contributing to some of the problem.
It’s important that we take responsibility for the things that we do, and avoid blaming others for the way we act. If you have a “hot button” that people can press to set you off, then focus on getting rid of that “hot button” instead of focusing on ways to keep people from pressing it.
“Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath.” - James 1:19